When youโre a kid, and you break your arm, you get a cast. Sure, itโs annoying and a little itchy, but itโs a visible reminder to take it easy for a while. It lets others know to be gentle. Plus, your classmates can sign it with positive encouragement, and sometimes that can help ease the pain.
Anxiety isnโt like breaking your arm. People struggling with anxiety donโt always have obvious symptoms, even when a storm brews below the surface. Grace Ryanโs anxiety wasnโt always the invisible kind. Sheโs struggled with it since fourth grade. โIt was really hard for me to get to school. I would cry and say Iโm not going. I was so upset, and I would sit in the office all day,โ Grace explains.
โIt was really hard for me to get to school. I would cry and say Iโm not going. I was so upset, and I would sit in the office all day,โ
โGrace
She saw a therapist at school who helped her through fourth grade and into fifth. But when she went back for seventh grade after a year of virtual learning, Graceโs comfort levels were tested again. โI was knocking on four different peopleโs doors to see who I could sit with so I could try to calm down,โ Grace says.
Her parents brought up Amberwing, the mental health and wellness center owned by the Miller-Dwan Foundation. Graceโs younger sister had been so successful from going there. It took some convincing, but Grace agreed to try the three-week outpatient program for middle-school-aged kids. Preparing to start at Amberwing brought on a rollercoaster of emotions.
โThe first day, I came home and I cried. Iโm not used to talking about my feelings 24/7,โ Grace says.
It didnโt take long for Grace to find her footing. She started to understand that what she was going through was hard, and she deserved help.
โIt made me feel so validated,โ Grace said.
Today, with her DBT toolkit and the confidence sheโs gained, she says her overall anxiety is much lower and under control. โBefore, when I got so scared, I would have to go to the nurseโs office or the counselor. Now I know that sometimes you just have to sit in the feeling and let it be there,โ Grace said. โIโve actually done breathing exercises in the bathroom stalls. It works.โ
Carrie, Graceโs mom, says that beyond the care Amberwing providers give to kids, they also support families and schedule follow-up calls after the program has ended. Itโs been a relief to see Grace doing so well. โIt goes back to validation for our whole family. There were days when Grace didnโt go to school and I had to try to get my head into work. Amberwing understands and sees that,โ Carrie explains. Her advice is to not wait until the problems become a huge struggle, and to not feel ashamed about asking for help because Amberwing is an amazing resource for families. She and Grace agree that if people talk more openly about mental health, maybe more progress can be made.
โI knew the statistics,โ says Grace, โbut meeting people with mental health issues showed me that Iโm not alone. Itโs OK. I have anxiety. I went to Amberwing, I learned the skills, and I came out better.โ
Itโs a reminder of the seen and unseen struggles those around us may face. By stopping and taking a breath, reaching out for help, or leaning on family and friends, weโre able to give ourselves and others the kindness we all deserve.
Thatโs what Grace does. And wouldnโt we all benefit from being a little more like her?